Yesterday... the day that sucked

Oh man! Yesterday was rough! I have no clue what happened, but I was angry at the choices I had for food. I just wanted to eat... anything!

After opening my refrigerator about 5 million times I finally stopped and thought about what I actually wanted. Come to find out... I had no clue. Nothing in or outside the list sounded like something I was craving, but I just wanted it all. Finally I decided I wanted something crunchy. Crunchy is a little hard to come by. I mean, sure an apple is crispy, but just not close enough to crunchy as I was looking. Inspiration hit and I found my saving grace...

Yea... I'm pretty sure baked whole wheat tortillas and make-due guacamole will be my saving grace throughout the next 20 or so days. True, I need to work on my baking skills, but man did that hit the spot.

Trouble was... I still wanted something more. I ate an apple as I considered my other options. First option, text one of my lovely, super supportive friends with a "this sucks" message. Sure enough, she was feeling it too. That got me through till it was time to meet my other lovely, super supportive friends for our weekly walk. We walked and talked about 7 and about life. After the walk I ended up back at home and baking a chicken breast before an impromptu walk with my texting friend from above.

I've dealt with food issues for a long time my whole life and I finally see how much shame I hold towards myself. Come to find out, shame is an overarching theme for me. Once I realized this I had no clue how to address it; specifically how to have accountability. See, anytime I would publicly say, I'm "on a diet" or "I'm watching what I eat" all of a sudden I'm 12 years old again in my parents kitchen knowing/thinking all eyes were on my plate and what I was eating. It sets off an almost panic in me of shame and self-conscienceness. And, not the good 'I'm conscience of what I eat,' but a 'I have to run and hide' mentality.

Seven has been different so far. Probably because it's not about simply "watching what I'm eating" or losing weight. It's about simplifying, being grateful for all that God has given me, being aware of the wealth I have. It's all these things, but so much more. It delves into the spiritual side where words are hard to explain (or at least for a different post).