What I am and am NOT doing...

Here comes another Holiday Season! According to most retailers it's been Christmas for nearly two months now, yet I have a feeling the worse is yet to come. Before this season gets the best of me, I wanted to sit down and decide what I am and am not going to do this year.

I AM... intentionally going to celebrate Advent.
This means I'm intentionally celebrating the birth of my Savior and not the birth of American greed. I bought an advent calendar and will anticipate with utter joy celebrating each day by reading the Divine Hours and that little piece of chocolate!

I AM NOT... filling my calendar with something to do every single night!
There are people to see and things to do, but unless I want to be unhealthy, stressed out, and frazzled for the next month, I will take time to clean my apartment, cook meals, read books, do laundry, etc.

I AM... putting up a Christmas tree.
I do this every year so I'm not sure where the thought came to my mind to not decorate. A beautifully decorated tree is one of the biggest joys of the Christmas season for me. Nothing is more peaceful than sitting in a treelite room with a book and a mug of hot chocolate. I will have that evening this year!

I AM NOT... waiting till the last minute to buy (and wrap) my presents.
Nothing saps the joy from me more than trying to figure out what to get my third cousin once removed (yes, I have to buy my third cousin, once removed a present) what to get on December 23. I've already begun stressing about what to get everyone and where that money is going to come from... this stops on Dec. 10!

Till I Collapse

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,

Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.

But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength

And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up

And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Eminem - Till I Collapse

Happy 90th Birthday!

My grandpa turned 90 this past week! Everything that is awesome about myself is because of him. He's a fabulous man and I can't believe he is 90!

Every year for his birthday the whole famdamnly heads to the Illini homecoming game. This was a tradition dating back to my childhood; however, only recently have we tied this event to his birthday and getting request from more and more family members to join us.

We look forward to this game and time together and each year fear it will be the last. Actually, about 4 years ago, we all swore it would be our last, but Grandpa just keeps buying us tickets and we keep gathering in Champaign to celebrate him.

This year turned out to not be a good year for the Illini as we lost... horribly. However, we made the most of it together.

Goodbye Idols

God is in the process of ripping away my biggest idol. It's incredibly painful and I'm literally doing everything I can to hold onto it with all my strength. Seems a little opposite of what I'm really suppose to do...


And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30 ESV)

The sad part of this is that I've been fighting this idol for years. I hate that I'm controlled by it. I want freedom from it; however, in my weakness my flesh takes over and I enslave myself constantly.

Oh may I know and live in the freedom found in serving Christ alone!