What I am and am NOT doing...

Here comes another Holiday Season! According to most retailers it's been Christmas for nearly two months now, yet I have a feeling the worse is yet to come. Before this season gets the best of me, I wanted to sit down and decide what I am and am not going to do this year.

I AM... intentionally going to celebrate Advent.
This means I'm intentionally celebrating the birth of my Savior and not the birth of American greed. I bought an advent calendar and will anticipate with utter joy celebrating each day by reading the Divine Hours and that little piece of chocolate!

I AM NOT... filling my calendar with something to do every single night!
There are people to see and things to do, but unless I want to be unhealthy, stressed out, and frazzled for the next month, I will take time to clean my apartment, cook meals, read books, do laundry, etc.

I AM... putting up a Christmas tree.
I do this every year so I'm not sure where the thought came to my mind to not decorate. A beautifully decorated tree is one of the biggest joys of the Christmas season for me. Nothing is more peaceful than sitting in a treelite room with a book and a mug of hot chocolate. I will have that evening this year!

I AM NOT... waiting till the last minute to buy (and wrap) my presents.
Nothing saps the joy from me more than trying to figure out what to get my third cousin once removed (yes, I have to buy my third cousin, once removed a present) what to get on December 23. I've already begun stressing about what to get everyone and where that money is going to come from... this stops on Dec. 10!

Till I Collapse

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,

Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.

But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength

And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up

And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Eminem - Till I Collapse

Happy 90th Birthday!

My grandpa turned 90 this past week! Everything that is awesome about myself is because of him. He's a fabulous man and I can't believe he is 90!

Every year for his birthday the whole famdamnly heads to the Illini homecoming game. This was a tradition dating back to my childhood; however, only recently have we tied this event to his birthday and getting request from more and more family members to join us.

We look forward to this game and time together and each year fear it will be the last. Actually, about 4 years ago, we all swore it would be our last, but Grandpa just keeps buying us tickets and we keep gathering in Champaign to celebrate him.

This year turned out to not be a good year for the Illini as we lost... horribly. However, we made the most of it together.

Goodbye Idols

God is in the process of ripping away my biggest idol. It's incredibly painful and I'm literally doing everything I can to hold onto it with all my strength. Seems a little opposite of what I'm really suppose to do...


And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30 ESV)

The sad part of this is that I've been fighting this idol for years. I hate that I'm controlled by it. I want freedom from it; however, in my weakness my flesh takes over and I enslave myself constantly.

Oh may I know and live in the freedom found in serving Christ alone!

Preview Review

We started a church! Well, we kind of started a church a couple Sunday's ago. The Journey Southern Illinois had their first preview service in Marion, IL (and have sense had their first Gospel Orientation). This has been a long time coming yet quickly approached as well.

A few years ago I made my first trip to Marion with a couple of our leaders to see what our possible options might be, but it just wasn't time yet. The opportunity we had we could have made work, but was just too many challenges/draw backs. God had other plans and a different time table for us.

About a month ago, things started moving and moving quickly. A launch pastor was identified and leaders started jumping on board. All of a sudden our January start date was moved to Oct. 21!

Normally this would stress me out and I'd question the decision to hurry this up so much. But, it was different. Often it can feel like we are pushing God along instead of walking beside Him. This time it felt like we were barely holding onto the tail of his rob he was moving so fast! There's much more freedom and joy found in keeping up with God instead of pushing Him along.

Because of the quick timeline, we didn't really know who would show up. Two weeks ago 30+ people drove up from Southern Illinois to attend a Journey service here in St. Louis. We met and talked about everything having to do with this new adventure. It is crazy and awesome how quickly so many people gathered around this vision for The Journey Southern Illinois.

Soon we were on our way to Marion to meet with their leaders before their first preview service. You could feel and sense the excitement and anticipation. Everyone was guessing on how many people would show up... 150, 200, 300!

Thankfully, we had a small army to help set up. And they were the best kind of volunteers... the kind that are happy to help, but just as happy to hang out with one another. You could tell they enjoyed simply being around each other and serving together.
 

Mobile church means one thing...set up/tear down

Before we get to set up, let's talk about how the trailer got to Marion. Our Belleville church "just so happened" to find a new semi-permeant facility in O'Fallon, IL. An area that was much more central to the population they were reaching. That facility "just so happened" to be available for us to use on Oct. 28. This meant that we would load the trailer at Belleville after service on Oct. 21, haul it the two hours north to Marion just in time to unload it and set up their first preview service. 

The trailer pull in right on schedule and we immediately get to work. I secretly love mobile church. It's a lot of work, but there are so many awesome, generally unseen benefits to it....

Mobile church can reorientate people's vision that THEY are the church and not the building. The church is a group of people and not an event you attend or place you go. Mobile church can better serve the community since funds aren't used on a building and it's upkeep. Mobile church forces some to hear the gospel cause it's their job (ie. the guys who work at the school, the convention center, the hotel and would never, ever step foot into our church building). Mobile church can provide a means of community and serving together during set up and tear down. But, mobile church can only do these things if the leaders and pastors believe it can. If you as a leader don't think you are a 'real' church until you have a building you'll slowing lead your people on a mission for a church building. Then you get that church building and your time and your people's time is taken out of the community and into your building to renovate it and to clean it and to fix it.*

Okay... off soap box.

Soon, this empty ballroom became a worship center. It was beautiful!

Setting up chairs for the 170 people that would attend

And then the people started coming. And coming. And coming. I didn't know any of them, but they knew each other. You could tell they already knew and loved each other, but a church was here to bond them together in one space to worship together in one voice.

170 adults, 39 kids, 31 staff and volunteers

What you don't see in the pictures are the 40 kids! Yes, 40 kids (20 of which were elementary aged!) The Journey Kids volunteers set up a space they weren't familiar with, with supplies they've never seen before, taught kids they may have never met, curriculum they weren't familiar with all for the Glory of God!! Towards the end of the evening I walked into the Journey Kids room and a leader pulled me over and said "look at this! take a picture! this is beautiful!" And, it was! It was a beautiful picture of the church. A group of people... a family coming together to proclaim and display the gospel through words and deeds; whether that meant unloading a trailer, setting up a table, running a sound board, or teaching children, they all displayed the gospel in either words or deed!

*This makes me sound like I'm against all church buildings, I'm not. My church owns several and are looking for more. Sometimes a building is needed. The mess and tension and weight of setting up/tearing down every single week becomes too much. However, I believe too often we look towards the building to be the solution to the tension and problems we experience. Yet, we can look at those and find creative ways to pastor people and/or fix the problems without needing a building.

Intentionally getting healthy

I've been sick for awhile now. I've tried to deny it and tell myself I'm imagining things or just need to toughen up. But, I started to notice a change with my body back in April/May. It takes a long time for me to really notice things and even longer for me to convince myself that something is wrong and I should go to the doctor. In June I headed to the doctor. I had narrowed my choices of what was wrong down to a few things and we talked about those. I figured it was my iron and yes, my counts were low. I went to another doctor in August and I learned a little bit more which solved some issues, but not the whole.

Finally last week I had had enough and went back to the doctor. I'm thinking it's going to be a long road which frustrates me to no end! From research I've done, I think I have a gluten sensitivity or allergy. It seems like all the rage right now to do gluten fee so part of me thinks I'm reading too much into it. And, I refuse to alter my lifestyle drastically without some sort of diagnosis or doctor recommendation. Mainly because I know I won't stick to it without one and apparently it can screw up your tests. Secondly, what the heck are you suppose to eat?! Here's the list from the Mayo Clinic:


Avoid unless labeled 'gluten-free' 
Avoid these foods unless they're labeled as gluten-free or made with corn, rice, soy or other gluten-free grain. Also check the label to see that they're processed in a facility that is free of wheat or other contaminating products:

Beers
Breads
Cakes and pies
Candies
Cereals
Cookies
Crackers
Croutons
Gravies
Imitation meats or seafood
Oats
Pastas
Processed luncheon meats
Salad dressings
Sauces (including soy sauce)
Self-basting poultry
Soups

Really, what's left after you take those out?!

In the mean time, I'm waiting for the results of another test and removing dairy from my diet (on my doctors recommendation). I didn't know how often I had dairy until I removed it. I miss cheese... and pumpkin spice lattes!

I have such mixed emotions about this whole thing. I HATE not knowing what's going on. I HATE the process of figuring it out. I HATE the possibility of completely altering my lifestyle. But, I feel so good about working towards getting better. I want to be healthy.

Alone time

October is nuts with a capital CRAZY!

I think I can fill my calendar with something to do every single night (especially considering the Cardinals are once again in the play-offs). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it. I love a busy schedule. I love hanging out with friends. I love being productive and getting stuff done. But, I need a night alone. I night to clean my disaster of an apartment, a night to read, a night to journal, a night to do laundry, a night to go to the grocery store, a night to pay bills. Oh dear... I think I need more than a night to do all of this.