The wall...

There's a lot of talk about "the wall" in marathon running. That point in a race where you feel as if you can't take another step. It's actually a real thing; around mile 20 or so your body uses up all it's glycogen (aka stored energy) and your muscles have to look elsewhere for energy. I'm not sure if the training wall is a real thing, but if it is I've hit it.

I'm on the cusp of the unknown right now as I've just completed what would normally be my half marathon training. But, that training didn't end at a finish line with a medal around my neck. Instead I was rewarded by another 10 weeks of training. Up to this point, I kind of knew what to expect; I've done it before.

To be honest, I'm scared. My mind is full of voices telling me "this is stupid," "why are you even attempting this," "you aren't going to be able to finish," and "even if you finish, you won't make it under time so what's the point?" During Sunday's long run I hit a training wall and nearly started crying. I convinced myself I couldn't do this. Immediately I texted one of my friends "Can we do a run together this week? I need help."

This week I've done all my runs with her. Considering this morning was especially difficult, knowing she was waiting and had even made breakfast for us after the 4 miler was my only motivation to get out the door. As I type this I'm sucking down an iced coffee as I'm so tired, but also extremely thankful for friends that will run with me, encourage me, and convince me I will finish.